Heh, heh...Okay so this month's Live Vibe was a few hours late. But soo
worth the wait. Bah Humbug to you! And a Happy Holidaze ;)
DOWNLOAD @: http://www.sheilluminatesit.com/music/
(scroll down the page!)
New blogs and live clips posted every full moon (...ahem, that was
yesterday...) so check back every 28 days...
I hope you all have a safe, warm and blissful season.
See you after Solstice.
xox,
Nik'for you
new entries posted every full moon
Season's Tidings
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I called it.
My 2008 Prediction:
We're no "experts" and that is exactly what will make us right. What didn't work then, will be surprisingly effective now that we've recognized the need to pool our efforts & start a new tradition. Welcome to the new world. Yes we can. (originally posted Jan 22nd 2008)
The Dilemma: I deeply regret giving my music everything I had. It gave me no where real to fall. And when I fall it is my only comfort. It's my music that I instinctively turn to. The only place I have let myself fall.
I will do it different this time. Let *my* music be an expression of my life instead of letting *the* music express me. And what didn't work then, will be surprisingly effective now that we've recognized the need to pool our efforts & start a new tradition.
Welcome to my new world. Yes we can. ;)
...For those of you out there so quick to dismiss me for telling the lethal truth of the material reality of being an independent artist, @#%! you! I wear my heart on my sleeve. That's how I make my music; that's how I do. There's not an artist out there who hasn't felt bested by the dilemma of music vs financial security...Yes, I said @#%! you! ...For those of you cowards who were secretly hoping to use my failure as Exhibit A in your smug campaigns to indict the idealist "dreamers" and justify your own decisions to settle for less than what you want and deserve @#%! you too...
For those of you who encouraged me to perceive this failure as an opportunity to embrace a wiser, stronger dream. Thank you. I Will. Stay with me now...this may be a long night but the dawn always rises. ;)
...now back to our regularly scheduled, cuss-free programming.
scratch
angels made of flesh and bone are calling me
we are the message,
the meaning,
the way
i'm afraid
it has always been
mortal angels
and mortal demons
and a very arm's length god
i took a leap of faith
the net did not appear
some very human angels (and demons) did
this is me putting my hands back on the loom;
starting from scratch
and ashes
because all god ever gave me was my breath
and free will
faith
It is impossible, on a day like today,
not to believe that everything is possible.
"While we breathe, we hope
...yes we can"
October's Moon
"What is to give light must endure burning"
- Henry David Thoreau
Still heartbroken and speechless so let me share some of the inspiring things that you've had to say that are keeping me grounded and convinced that Hope must ultimately float and if you do what you love, the money must eventually follow:
"Niki honey, I want you to keep the faith...The one constant in life is change."
"...What I'm getting at is the devil is a liar and there is room for you. Take a break for a while regroup and regenerate and if necessary re invent.... Timing is everything and your right time is waiting for you."
"...may He allow a window......so your soul can fly...unbound......will only say hello.....no goodbye for now.....sweet blessings to you friend....rain on down"
"Some things occur in life that take us away
from our dreams, and not always to bring death to the dream, but to bring life
to parts of us that need to grow and change. This departure from the dream is
not always permanent, but it can allow us to experience our dreams with a
new perspective and appreciation for their fulfillment. They can also provide
us with new dreams as well and an opportunity to ask God what he'd like us to
do next...God is always aware of your needs..."
"I know you offered all of your tracks for free, but I paid for my seven and it was the best money I've spent this year. As I said before, you definitely have a voice worth paying for. I hope others can respect all you've given the same."
"...perhaps this was your time for a blessing ... Patience will take you from this moment to new thoughts, new dreams, new songs, new love... what your heart really needs most... because God has a way of using a setback as a setup... for a step up. Ya dig? ;)"
Thank you Maria, Veda, Sparkles, Ms Sandy, Triii C, Kareem, Allen T, Kyle, Angie, Cathy Young, Ava, Michelle, Playboy Kool, Victoria, Winnie, Joann, Ty, Marcus, Maria, Kathy, Nadj, Caroline, Tomas, Joan, Theo, Shari, Chris, Emmanuel, Duncan, JaWar, Stephanie, Donna, Carole, Roxy, Nick,Libbie, Tara Lewis, Erika, Star, Fess, Dj COA, Will
and those of you who quietly sent out a prayer too ;) I love you.
Please Support: Download & Review!
Dawn's Rise is officially available (finally) on CD Baby and iTunes!! I know y'all got the tracks for free but please show the labels I'm worth investing in by downloading your fave track to support!
+
Please post reviews on my facebook and CD Baby pages I'd really appreciate you letting others know what you think! Much Love, Nik'
On Full Moon's Eve
I met a strange fellow at the bus stop the other day...I think he was "crazy" - or brilliant and deeply misunderstood. He sat down on the bench next to me, pulled a cigarette from a ziploc baggy and, rambling like a madman, proceeded (unsolicited) to address every fear and worry that's been troubling me for the last eight years...Like some kind of mystical oracle in disguise...
I think I contributed about a dozen startled words to the "conversation." Things like "how do *you* know I'm not married" and " I *am* talented." He delivered some not-so-cryptic advice about believing in my vision of home, taking my time with love and remembering to be grateful for my talent even when the business of of music is hard going.
Then my bus came.
I hurried off stunned. I never told him I was in music or described my life or dreams to him in any way (!?!) but he seemed to know. I needed some clear counsel and encouragement and the universe delivered it in a way that was impossible for me to dismiss or ignore. Much like the supportive offerings that have come from so many of you upon my announcement that I was out of time and money and could no longer find a viable way to keep my music coming.
I am accepting the hands being offered to me. I still recognize angels when I see them. I can't predict how all this will pan out but I feel compelled to pass along the recurring message I continue to be sent: "Have Faith, there is Serendipity to these things.” Kyle tells me I have a lot of emails and MySpace comments to check out! ☺ I will be logging on soon to personally touch base. Please bear with! Thanks for all the love and blessings. It is appreciated more than you know. And please continue to spread the word about my music. We need you. We will try to make it work.
Much Love,
Nik'
